Children + Fine Dining
It Doesn’t Have To Be An Impossible Dream

By Rick Willis

While Londoners have a wonderful sense of humor about family, the Queen and almost anything else, they are serious about fine cuisine, no matter how people deride their mushy peas. To secure a reservation at top spots like Gordon Ramsey signature restaurants, you have to call months in advance and provide a hefty, nonrefundable deposit, as there is only one sitting per table per evening.

So it was no surprise to me when I saw the looks on the faces of fellow diners when they spotted my Ben and Sam, 10 and 8 years old, being led to the center table at Petrus, a tony spot in Knightsbridge, London. The faces of one couple close by, obviously celebrating a special event, demonstrably displayed displeasure, sure in their minds that our arrival precipitated unacceptable behavior.

If You Train Them, They Will Know
Our boys, however, are seasoned diners. We have brought them up to eat what is placed before them, catering to our palate rather than theirs. Learning the rules is also important.

A rite of passage for Ben happened several years ago, when we visited the Inn at Biltmore Estates, in Ashville, N.C. Celebrating Mother’s Day, we ate in the main dining room. The boys were handed menus without pictures of ponies, nor were crayons offered. After explaining to them that they were to order off the menu, they enjoyed themselves. An hour and a half later, when Ben looked at the dessert menu, he didn’t see anything he wanted. We told him to give his request to his waiter; a few minutes later, voilà, a piece of chocolate cake. Ben’s first off-the-menu request!

Eliminating Tough Decisions
At Petrus there were five of us – my mother-in-law, my wife and I, and the two boys. We were formally dressed. There is something about young men putting on coats and ties that calms them. It’s a ritual preparation that somehow impresses upon them the need for decorum.

Even in the face of frowns, we were seated, napkined and asked for our drink orders. In London, the boys were given the choice of still or sparkling water. For the meal itself, we chose the tasting menu, an eight-course meal that ran about 90 pounds ($180) per person.

We chose the tasting menu to take away the stress of making decisions. The menu was given to Ben and he led us through the evening, calling the courses as they appeared. There were no surprises for the guys.

First was the amuse bouche (mouth pleaser), a pan-fried foie gras with chestnut purée, fig compote and roasted chestnuts. Ben and Sam asked about each dish and we explained the ingredients. We didn’t order them to eat anything; we assumed they would try it all and they did. They only course they did not enjoy was the truffle soup, served in 1½-ounce jiggers. The taste was a bit earthy, but they did eat half of it.

Stories Told
For the four hours we were there, we shared life stories from three generations. During the meal, Grandma told the boys about what she ate when she was a child. Carol and I shared stories about our childhoods. The boys, too, shared their own stories.

A few courses along, I took note of the celebrating couple. They were relaxed and smiling again, back to swirling wines in glasses, seeking the terroir, enjoying the night. Later, when they left the restaurant, they passed by the table smiling broadly at the boys.

The meal itself was fantastic. Scottish scallops, quail, walnut gnocchi, salads, cheeses from the cheese trolley, predessert, which was a selection of confections from a three-tiered tray; and finally, dessert – a bitter chocolate and hazelnut cylinder with ginger ice cream and blackberry granité that was unspeakably delicious.

The entire evening was wonderful. The boys set a record I’m sure, of “powdering their noses” with all the water they drank. Sam also set a record for use of napkins at one seating. Each time a napkin hit the floor, there was a new one placed in his lap and the old one carted away and flogged for its temerity to fall, I’m sure.

At the end of the evening, the head waiter, commenting on our well-mannered boys, brought back the predessert tray and picked out some chocolates with silver tongs, placing them carefully in a small boxes for our boys to take home as a treat.

For us, the key to dining at nice places with young children is involving them in the process. As we planned the London trip, we explained what we were going to do and where we were eating. We took the boys shopping for coats, ties and slacks and to some extent, let them choose the clothes they would wear. But most importantly, by teaching them about good food at home, as well as sitting down to eat together, we prepared their palate – and their minds – to enjoy good food.